I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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