I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
