windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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