Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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