You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
