I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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