I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
