Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Congratulations! We have a period
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