check it out our google latitudes are spooning
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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