I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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