What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
