Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize