Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
