I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
