Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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