break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
