Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
No subtext here. People are naked.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
