You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
