Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize