The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
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I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
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I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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