Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
