Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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