I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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