This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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