a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
