We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
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I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
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Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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