How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
