i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
