then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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