I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
