Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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