Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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