I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
