So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
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Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
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Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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