I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
