I hope mine doesn't look like that
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
