ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
