i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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