Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
