I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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