Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
