I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize