u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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