I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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