you have to choose: penises or morals?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
