Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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