yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My pussy is not your playground.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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