you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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