did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
