I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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