too bad you live with your parents still
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
