Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It was confusing and full of hummus
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Randomize
