We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize