dude i'm inner monologue high
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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