i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
