Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
