we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize