there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
