He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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