dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
