can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
