And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
