i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
