i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
