Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
